What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
09.06.2025 08:32
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
TEXT:
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
If sea levels were rising, wouldn't the acreage of coastal salt marshes increase? Are they?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Make Nazis afraid again!
Has your wife or girlfriend ever been felt up in public by a stranger?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Why do women change that much more with age?
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
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At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!